Advent, Day 4: Tools that Help Us Go Slow
Remember the birthday party game of long ago, before those events rivaled weddings?
Someone’s mother, perhaps ours, would bring out a small tray covered with homely and familiar household objects. We would get 20 seconds to look at the array, then it would be whisked out of sight. The game — contest, actually — was to see how many of the objects you remembered.
Those party afternoons were invariably warm, and we were keyed up and a little sweaty. But not at that moment. I will never forget the atmosphere then. It was one of the few times that a gaggle of busy, antic girls grew quiet enough to hear the distant traffic. We were swaddled in a concentration and focus that we’d created by ourselves, and it was delicious. Who needed cake? It paled in comparison to this pleasure.
I have no one to offer this diversion today. Quite the contrary. I face the menace of distractions at every turn. “Faster” is the delusion that we can outrun the list of things that need doing. If this were a 12-step moment, I’d be confessing that yesterday I imagined that I could bake a batch of granola cookies at the same time that I ran out to buy a toy for a Christmas charity, finished a book on Dante, and prepared for my final class of the semester.
I know that I’m not alone. So today, I’ve taken matters in hand.
In lieu of the birthday party game, I have created a small mindfulness altar that I will look at every time I pass through my office. It contains the following:
A wooden clothes pin. A wooden spoon. A pair of knitting needles.
Only these. They are laid out on a simple wooden cutting board, along with an acorn given to me by a friend.
These objects tell me the truth about myself. They require me to quiet down, to remember who I am when I am engaged with each of them.
I am focused, content, and productive. I am simple and slow.
When I know such moments, I shift into a deeper center. I can feel something in me unfurl and claim its freedom.
On this day, perhaps you might try a similar altar. A photo will do. A table top cleared of newspapers and magazines. My wish is that all of us reclaim a few moments of freedom from “faster,” so that we can know our inner wisdom and move in something more meaningful than circles.
Anne parker
December 6, 2017at9:42 pmI just bought a laberith that is the size of my hand. It has a small stick that you follow the path to the center. It’s a reminder of slowing down my pace. Wonderful daily today Kathy
kathleen.hirsch
December 7, 2017at6:27 amAfter the early shock of the inevitable December pace, thankfully we all have a chance to take ourselves in hand and do just this kind of slowing down. Thanks so much, Anne.
Nancy Rappaport
December 6, 2017at9:15 pmI often think that “busy” is short hand for people to find a way to avoid the centering you are relishing.
kathleen.hirsch
December 7, 2017at6:29 amI had lunch with a psychologist friend today, and he noted that often busyness is a defensive reaction, a way of avoiding, just as you are identifying, Nancy. Meditation is the antidote. Thanks so much.
Sue O'Reilly
December 6, 2017at7:38 amI did something similar in my walk yesterday. I treated each “segment” as it were the only one that I would be walking that day and I savored its riches. It brought a great sense of quieting and awareness. It felt delicious!
kathleen.hirsch
December 6, 2017at7:44 amSue, I learn so much from your steady insights!
Sue O'Reilly
December 6, 2017at5:42 pmActually, my initial reaction to your day’s reflection was that all those who have touted multi-tasking have not done us any favors and we need to start walking it back.
Then your word “delicious” just stuck in my head and I thought: “Yesterday, I had a delicious experience!” and I wondered if it were the same deliciousness. I think, yes.
kathleen.hirsch
December 6, 2017at6:01 pm:))